Is my way of coping with life dangerous?

Since I’ve been back to work for 3 1/2 months now, I’ve developed a bad habit that could turn for the worse. Back in April, I had to take time off of work to try and de-stress; to try to collect my thoughts. 

“You need to learn how to cope.” My boss told me,when I tried to talk to him about a mental problem I was having. “We all have to cope with stress.”  

Which, yes, he was right on one part. Everyone has learn to cope with day to day stresss, but you can’t really tell someone “Just learn coping skills” or “Sorry, you are just gonna have to cope with it” when you don’t know why they are stressing in the first place. With me, it isn’t just learning how to cope with day to day stress, it’s also about learning how to cope with depression, and suicidal thoughts. If it’s not stress that’s making life hard, then it’s my depression; if it’s not my depression, then it’s the suicidal thoughts, and so on. 

The last thing anyone should ever do is make someone feel stupid for not knowing how to cope with difficult situations. It makes them feel even worse about themselves, which can also make learning how to cope a lot harder then it should be.

Someone’s new coping skills could easily be something that can turn into life threatening habits. Drugs, Alcohol, Sex, self harm are just a few examples that people use to help cope.

As of late, I have notice that my coping has started to fall under the self-harm category. No, I’m not cutting my wrists. But I have gotten into the habit of rolling my fingers into fists and digging my nails so hard into my palms! Or ,I’ve done this once, dig my nail into my arm until there’s raw patch of skin. These are not healthy habits! 

If you know someone who is having trouble coping with life, then lend a shoulder to cry on, or just listen to them! Do not, I repeat, DO NOT make someone who is suffering feel even worse about themselves! It, by no means, help them nor does it help you. If you know someone is having a rough time at work, then ask if they want to hang out and just unwind. You guys can go for a hike in a beautiful part of your city/town; go on a road trip for a weekend, or go to a trampoline park! 

Stay away from technology, bars, and clubs! The outdoors is what will help the most when helping someone, or if you’re in need of de-stressing!  

If you really can’t take the stress anymore, then try talking to your boss about it. Yes, it’s gonna be a really tough topic to talk about, but maybe you both can come up with a way that benefits everyone. For example, if your boss is into “team building” programs, see if there is anyway the next “team building” event can help to de-stress everyone, and just get some weight off of everyone’s shoulders. That could simple things, such as: yoga classes, learning new things (knitting, drawing, language, or making pottery), sober karaoke, or fun card games! 

My very last piece of advice is something I know I’ve talked about with Jennie, and a few of our friends.

If nothing at work is helping you to de-stress, then maybe find new surroundings. (Aka, find a new job, or place to live.) If you love your job then stick with it, but maybe see if you can move to the same company in a different city. If that’s no good, then move and/or redecorate your place! Add in some bright colours into your interior decorating to help bring joy, peace, and warmth into your life. Even just moving your room around can help you de-stress! 

If some of you found the stuff in the post has helped, then let me know! Also, if you need advice or just someone to talk to please, by all means, don’t be afraid to reach out to us!! ❤️

Love always, 

Katie. ❤️❤️

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